Fulfillment is defined as “the achievement of something desire, promised or predicted.”It seems like that is all we hear in society. There are classes, books, podcasts, and motivational speakers telling us how to live a fulfilled life. Almost every other person on social media is entrepreneur. Whether selling Paparazzi Jewelry, Mary Kay make-up, making soap, body oil, custom t-shirts etc. It seems like everyone is pushing their own agenda to lead to self-employment and ultimately fulfillment.
I knock no one’s hustle. It is my endeavor to support any business my friends and family have by either direct support or referrals. Its enough out here for all of us to eat. But that’s another post for another day. This post is in response to a question I asked myself some months ago: why is fulfillment so difficult to obtain.
It seems like fulfillment should be common sense. We already innately do what makes us feel good. So shouldn’t that mean we are fulfilled? As we get older we find out the common sense is no so common. Therefore, fulfillment is one of the hardest things in life to attain.
The other day I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, Jesus and Jollof. On this particular episode, Luvvie and Yvonne were talking about parenting our parents. They are talking about how at some point in our lives we have to have tough conversations with our parents and do what is best for us. This can range from leaving our corporate job to follow a passion in the arts to moving to a new city to start fresh. And I heard a statement that hit me like a ton of bricks.
“If you never allow yourself to be the example you’re going to be the status quo.” – Luvvie Ajayi
Take a minute and let that sink in. That’s so crazy but yet so true. It is so real life. Luvvie made the statement in the context of changing careers and doing something that your parents don’t understand. But if you don’t make the leap and try you will never know if you will succeed at it or not.
Think about your first major or first job. In hindsight, was that really what you wanted to do; or were you allowing someone else to live vicariously through you. We all have done it. And we think we will be fulfilled but in all honestly, we are drained.
When I looked back on it myself, I played it safe. I did what the blueprint said I should do. I graduated high school, went to college and majored in a promising field. After graduation, I got a job and worked. It was cool at first because I was single, fresh out of college and making really good money. But the older I got and the more I moved through different phases and stages of life I realize I was only working a job. There was no passion involved in what I was doing. There was no drive or motivation; just a paycheck.
I wasn’t fulfilled and I was existing and not living. Insert quote from above. I was scared to go against the grain and do what I wanted. I was afraid of being the example. See being the example can go 1 or 2 ways. It can either work out great and you become a success. Or you can fall flat on your face in failure. With as many success stories floating around, somehow we only manage to focus on being the one who fails. Why? Because we trend to look at fulfillment as a destination rather than a journey.
And here lies the lesson of the day, the 1st step to fulfillment is embracing the journey. It’s good to have a vision of where you see yourself. But don’t allow what you are dreaming of to rob you of enjoying and understanding the purpose of where you are now.
Be on the look out for part 2.
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